I'm not okay and it's not alright
by I-am-a-ghoul
Summary: All I wanted was to live a normal life. Well as normal as being a ghoul can live. It's difficult when a human boy becomes a half ghoul , bringing his problems along with him. It makes it even more difficult when said boy is the adorable Kaneki Ken. Rating may turn M.
Chapter 1.

Dear diary,  
I'm having that feeling again. The feeling of not fitting in anywhere. Here at Anteiku I feel like an outsider. I feel like everyone whispers behind my back. I am a Tsukiyama. I can't help it. But if I go with Shuu... I would feel like a monster. Everybody reassures me that I am welcome and that I'm nothing like my brother but it seems like they're waiting for me to snap. Honestly I am too. I am my brothers sister. I am a ghoul. Its only natural... Right?

"Midori." I looked up placing my pen between the pages of my diary. Touka stood there leaning against the door frame her eyes piercing into mine. "Its time for work. Or did you forget again?" She teased making me sigh. She caught sight of my diary in my hands before scoffing "writing your feelings again? You know it would be easier if you just talked about them you know. "She sounded bitter making my lips turn up slightly.

"Now if I did that,Touka-chan you wouldn't look at me the same. So no. I'm perfectly content writing." I stated softly closing the book. I stood up placing my diary on the table before grabbing my shoes. "I'll be right down."

I heard Touka grunt before she shut my door her foot steps echoing through the halls as she went down the stairs. I paused letting out another sigh. "Another day, Midori. You can do this." And with that I willed myself to step out of my apartment.

"Hello welcome!" I chirped with a fake smile. "Please have a seat, I'll be right with you. " I told the two boys.

"Well thank you pretty lady!" The dirty blonde grinned before ushering a shy looking boy to a table by the window. My smile dropped replaced by a blank look.

"You know." Touka started. "Your gonna scare customers away with that look."

I turned a bright smile plastered on my face. "Oh I'm sorry. Is this better."

My friend laughed shaking her head. "Now that's just creepy. "

I clicked my tongue. "There's no pleasing you is there."I chuckled before grabbing two menu's from behind the counter. I made my way to the boys b placing the menus in front of them, making the black haired boy jump. I furrowed my eyebrows apologetically. "Oh I'm sorry about that."

"I-Its alright!" The boy blushed making his friend to laugh.

"Nah Kaneki is always like that."

"Hide!" Kaneki protested blush deepening.

I chuckled at their bickering before clearing my throat. "What can I get you two?"

As they order the door opened bring an unwelcome scent with it. I turned eyes cold as Rize walked in, innocent act in place.

"I'll bring your order when its ready."I said quickly before stalking toward Rize. This is my territory. Well not really but like hell Im going to let Rise hunt here. I'll rip her head off before she gets that chance . I stopped in front of her placing my welcoming waitress smile on.

"Hello, Rize." I greated through gritted teeth. The purple haired girl looked up a flash of sadistic rage glinting in her eye before she closed them smiling sweetly.

"Ah hi Midori-chan."

Annoyance filled my chest making me tigten my hand on the penpad. I knew what she was doing. I wasn't stupid. The binge eater. She made me sick. Killing for the pleasure of it. She was the kind of ghoul that made it unsafe for Antieku.

"Listen here Rize. If you bring any harm to anyone here I will kill you." I said sweetly. Hey Touka said to be welcoming.

Rizes smile fell before she smirked. "Oh dear Midori~ a little ghoul like you threatening little old me?" She laughed making me sneer. She looked at me mockingly . "please. Like you could do anything. That's in the past if I remember correctly. The Puppet Master~. What happened to her she was so much fun." Rize groaned tilting her head back.

I flinched at my dead name. It was so long since I hear that. I almost felt... Nostalgic. I felt myself slack as my past flashed before my eyes. Screams. Blood. So much blood. Moans. Sweet beautiful screams of pain.

"Oh dear." Rize murmured as she stared at my shaking hands. "Did I bring up some memorizes? Good or bad? Good I bet. You miss it don't you?. The hunt? The Delicious flesh of your victims-"

I cut her off slamming my hands on the table. My breathing was erratic and my kakugan showed. I knew that all the attention was on us, Rize did as well by the smirk on her face.

"Listen here you little bitch. You come in here and start shit and think you are the motherfucking queen. But you aren't! You just some bitch who needs to step down from whatever pedestal you're on. Or I will fucking kill you." A flash of fear entered her eyes. "You know I can do it. They don't call me the feared puppet master for nothing. I will-" a stern hand landed on my shoulder making me pause.

"Calm down, Midori."Touka ordered. "Go. I'll take it from here." I stared at her through my changed eyes. All that went through my head was: kill her. She stopped you. Fucking rip her head off. Kill her. "Midori!" My eyes slowly changed back as reality came crash down on me. "Now."

I nodded before rushing to the coffee counter my breath coming raggedly. What was I thinking? How could I? I'm not her anymore. I haven't be her for a long time. And its going to stay that way.

A shy tap shook me from my melt down. I turned to see the back haired boy-Kaneki was it?- blushing as he scratched his cheek.

"Um I'm sorry. But you look kind of upset and I wanted to see if you were alright." I looked at him shocked making his eyes widened "I'm sorry I-I didn't mean to disturb you or any thing!"

I continued to stare. He was worried... About me? A soft smile appear making his blush deepen.

"No you're fine, Kaneki-kun. I'm... I'm okay, thank you." I nodded at him making him smile.

"Oh OK good." He sudden blushed looking nervous."um I have a question um..."

"Midori." I told him.

"Midori-chan. What's that girl's name? The one you were just talking to?"

I grew cold at his question. Why did he want to know? Was he interested? I suddenly was concerned if he grows closer to her... She might...

"Listen to me Kaneki. "I looked him straight in the eyes making him cringe. "You need to stay away from her. She is not what she seems. Promise me."

"What?"

"Promise me!" I snapped making him jump.

"I-I promise!"

I relaxed smiling at him. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to prepare you and your friends order." And without waiting for him to respond I quickly ran to the back. I leaned against the door closing my eyes.

Kaneki promised me... But why do I feel like it was an empty promise?


End file.
